Mike Richards is a douche

It's true.

Game 9

This is is going to be a lame ass post because college is sucking the life out of me. There aren't even going to be pictures.   D:

Mr. Aaron Asham is in a line-up with Rupp and Adams. They're getting shit done I guess cause Adams just scored. Also, Mr. Cooke is proving why he's a man (not that he needs to), as he also scored.  Stacheboy of October scored.

About 14 minutes in Steve Downie and Ben LOVEJOY, both got 10:00 game misconduct penalties. I guess I might be bitter if my name were so happy and care-free sounding.

Hopefully my counterpart will provide a better recap.

I wish I didn't have a life, so I could watch this game...

Break Time

Penguins take on Tampa Bay Wednesday.  Anchorage man Nate Thompson plays for them. I love it when people from Alaska do things with their lives. It happens so infrequently.

While we have some time on our hands, I was browsing the internet when I came across some entertaining photos of our favorite Russian. Since he was our crossbreed last week I thought I'd share.

Unbeknownst to many hockey fans, Geno happens to be a celebrated painter.

And of course he can cook (although I thought they only ate cabbage in Russia...)

Though you may not be able to tell on the ice, Geno is indeed a fashionist(o?)

Hmm maybe scratch that last one. But I must say, I love the velvet blazer, just not with light wash denim.

 How lovely and wholesome

Classyy...

In other news:

-Eric Tangradi and Andrew Hutchinson have been reassigned to the WBS Penguins.  Hopefully for them they'll get some more ice time down there.

-Michalek and Asham are improving; we may see them on Wednesday.

-Letestu may move to wing when Steezy comes back. I'm looking forward to seeing what he does with that. It will probably be amazing.

Till Wednesday my friends

0-1 Blues. wtf

I don't enjoy low scoring games, but goddamn Beej! Way to be on fire. The man made about 756287345618 saves and 756287345617 were amazing.  Good to see Free Candy back on the ice. 


The word "rover" kept coming up. 
Letestu, Free Candy, Dupes and Adams all had HEEEYYY FAANNSS 


Connection of the Game: 

Davis Payne coached the Aces for 4 years. He and Head Coach Dan Bylsma (henceforth to be known as HCDB) Played in the ECHL together, and are secretly twins.  This is really exciting.


What the fuck did Sid do to Roman Polak?

He ran off the ice with their trainer like his ass was on fire, but there was no blood on the ice. Whatevs. They probably went to go have sex.

And that's the way it was... And that's the way the Cookie crumbles.

Sido still has never scored a goal against the Blues, but he did get me points for my Hair League, so all is forgiven.

I blame the goalies for lack of scoring, because the offense, on both sides, was pretty special.  Who was that Halak character anyway? I feel like he's ruined my life before.

oh yeah...

Tampa Bay next?  Jeez. Florida's being taken over by the Burgh. Steelers @ Miami tomorrow. And it's televised up here!

How the fuck is a genre of music a team?

Seriously, a contributing factor as to why I am a fan of the Penguins is because a Penguins is one BAMF of a mascot. Plus they're just so cute!

So I admittedly took a peak at the Blues's roster to see if there was anyone on the team I could easily make fun of. Here is what I discovered.

A man by he name of BJ Crombeen. No explanation needed. I do believe this gets added to the list of terrible names. Right up there with Douchon Mandick. Looks like someone was home-schooled.

Aaaand unfortunately the Penguins meet their achillies heel tonight, a man that played a huge contribution to the Penguins loss in the Stanley Cup Finals. Halak. Or as us jews like to say... Challah
Hopefully this time the Pens can devour him, like I do every Shabbos. GOOOOOO!!!!! Penguis!

Featuring.....

Crossbreeds! Every week (a.k.a. whenever I get to it) I will be supplying you with the true, never before seen, lineage of your favorite celebrities! This week our very own, Evgeni Malkin!

You may recognize these folks as Evgeni Malkin's adorable parents.

However, we are here to tell you that they are a hoax. Cute and Russian they may be, but let me introduce you to his real blood relation. Some of you may have already recognized Geno's beast-like characteristics are similar to that of a well known Hero. The Hulk. And by Hulk we mean this guy...

Not the blond/mustache/douch/fanny-pack one. Sirously, what grown man wears zebra print spandex with a multi-colored crotch purse? The 80's was 20 years ago... grow up.

In other news, it seems Malkin's other relation pays more attention to his sensitive side.
Looks like at least one of the Jonas brothers lied about his chastity ring! Russel Brand was right all along.

Gameday 8

J-Steezy, Asham and Free Candy still aren't in the line-up, Buuut word on the street is that MAF will start.  Brent's been doing a shweet job and all, but I wanna see some McFlurry action.

Who cares about the Predators? No one, that's who. Do they even have any fans?

__________________

That, my friends, was how babies are made...

Also, it was probably one of the best games of hockey I've seen in a while.  I recently discovered online streaming (I know, get with the program Claire) so I was able to watch some of the game.  Fleury made some admirable saves, aand some not so admirable ones, but it's all good. Man's gotta get his mojo back. 

Geno and Sid were out of control. Words can't describe their skating skillz. Letang scored in overtime winning it for us.  Beast points to him.

This photo = the game.

Next game is on Saturday at St. Louis. another somewhat irrelevant team to hockey (sorry Blues fans)

Peace out till then amigos.

Game 7. Senators

First off I'd like to say welcome back to The Burgh Gonch.  We miss you.  Also, is it just me, or are the Pens an extraordinarily classy team? 

Mark Letestu with two goals in the first period. Who wudda thunk? This child is blowing up, and I must say, I like it.  Goligoski, Letang and Dupuis also scored I guess.

This Is What We're All About

Oh and also this...

Together they create this

Check out that mad dog face.


If you are not a Pittsburgh Penguins fan I suggest you leave now. 
Also, If you have a problem with the fact that we are women, grow up. We definitely like hockey as much as men do.


Here, Hannah (aka Hannahisdacoolest) and Claire (aka ClaireFailed) will attempt to provide you with comprehensible (not making any promises) news about out favorite team, along with general entertainment.  


Currently we both reside in Alaska, and our nearest sport fix comes in the form of the Alaska Aces. 


Penguins won tonight. Against the Flyers.  Apparently it was a good game for pens fans. I wouldn't know. I guess we Eskimos don't deserve to watch hockey. Maybe the cable company thinks we have enough ice in our lives.