pens win 1-0

im surprised some crazed pittsburgh fan didnt murder the losers at fsn. unless you were actually at the game, you misses most of the fist period.

oh well. i didnt really watch this game soo... no comment really

also

fuck punctuation right now.

were welcoming gonch back to the burgh on friday

happy thanksgiving

Buhbye Panthers. Pens win 3-2

First off I would like to comment on how ridiculous the noises are at hockey games.  The fucking cat noise the panthers have on their goal horn.

Skip to 0:20 in to hear what I'm talking about.


Two of the three goals were on the PP (finally).  Letang had the first (Martin and Crosby assisting), and of course Bing had the second (Kennedy and Malkin with the assists).
Chris Connor scored one for his daddy.  This one was probably my favorite cause Letestube and Michalek had assists.

Crosby's had more than one point in eight of the last 11 games.

Here he is in his office (seriously, he's gonna bite that tongue off, I swear)

On another (happy) note, Flower is now 6-0-1 in the last 7 games.  It seems as if things are looking up for our Pens finally.

Sabres on Wed.  Might have to watch Bruce Almighty in honor of this occasion.

Lo Siento

Yeah, I have no real excuse for not posting, except that my cohort really isn't picking up any slack.

Anywayss
Thanks to usbzoso at penshead People without HBO (like myself) can watch the preview of 24/7 pens vs. caps thingy.


All of the artistic shots and cinematography made me laugh a little no lies, but I'm still pretty stoked to watch.

Also, here's some unreal stick handling from our man Bing.


People are saying it's fake cause it was shot in more than one take, but whatevs. He still hit it which is more than most people can say I think.

Flo Rida mañana.
I may recap.
I may not recap.

Rangers Preview

Sorry about the lackage of postage lately, although I doubt anyone reads this so whateves.

Yes yes, we know Geno is god's gift to hockey. I really like seeing Asham on is line though. I think they work well together.

The "big" news today is about some e-mails sent by Colin Campbell about.... well I don't really know exactly.  Here's the link in case you care.  It's mildly interesting.

Bigger news is that the Pens play the Rangers this afternoon.  This is the team that Ruslan Fedotenko left us for.  Also, they have another Staal (Marc).  Aanndd my personal favorite, Brandon Dubinsky, probably the next best Alaskan hockey player (aside from Scotty G., who I must say, is slowing down a bit).

Going through their roster I found this photo:

Oh. Hey Sean Avery.  I didn't realize you thought that you were Johnny Depp..

Upon further investigation (mainly to find out exactly how much of a douche he is) I found this:

This man bears some resemblance to the equally douchy (but muuchh sexier) Dr. Alex Karev (played by Justin Chambers) from Grey's Anatomy.

What does that have to do with hockey?

I don't know... But you're probably going to go google Justin Chambers now.

Go Pens!

So, I wasn't going to post about this game...

But the stars aligned and we raped Tampa so hard I just couldn't resist.
Our man Marc Andre had his 150th career win.
I feel like this was very good for him.

By the way, that rose is supposed to be in his mouth.

Knew you could do it MAF!

Goldigoski had himself a golden night.  

Cappycakes is racking up the points. Take that Stamkos.

"Oh no Sidney. Please don't punch my team mate in the face!" - Johan Harju

Is that the beginnings of a stache I see, Geno?

Someday he's gonna get knocked on his ass and bite that tongue right out of his head.

Thrashers tomorrow.  These southerners don't know shit about ice.

Lightning - Game 17

There probably won't be a recap on this game, so I feel like I should preview it.

The big news is that Fleury will be starting tonight. Hope He gets his shit together.

Also, Steven Stamkos has 26 points right now. That's pretty ridiculous. I'd like to see him and Geno in a fight.

This time difference is really starting to bum me out. We're 4 hours off from the east coast, so when the Pens play a 7 pm game, it's on at 3 here. Right in the middle of my day.

And I'm posting this from my phone right now, so no cool pictures. Sorry guys.

Go Pens!

UPDATE: Vincent Lecavelier is out with a broken hand. I don't know how that will affect Tampa, but I'm guessing it won't help.

Pens Lose

Bruins Preview?

Geno and Beej practiced today after taking Monday off.
Mike Comrie however did not.
Someone needs to make a man out of him.

Seriously, he's going the route of Chris Bourque here.  Which I guess it's only fair that he sucks cause he's only getting paid 500k.

HCDB didn't say weather he was putting in Beej or Marc. Whoever he picks, there'll be someone pissed off about it.  Either way, we have two really good goaltenders soo...

The Bruins are tied with us for points right now.  Dunno if that means anything.

I Love Our Team!

Now, I will be the first to admit that I am a hockey newb (I really hate that word, but it's the only one that really applies), so I don't know much about other teams.  However, I'm pretty sure most other teams aren't this cool.
Check it out:




There are some great slides on the site with some awesome shots of Max with the cutest Haitian children. I want to donate a million dollars and adopt 20 of them.

Bahahaha

Game 15 - Coyotes. 4-3. Finally a win!

I have no idea what happened with the Ducks game aside from the score.  No really, I was on an airplane.

When I landed and looked at the score I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit...  I mean really boys.  I know it's early(ish) in the season, but something is just not clicking.  Whether it's the loss of some of our old guys like Gonch and Billy G, or injuries (I'm looking at you Jordan), I don't know, but you should get your shit together. For the sake of my sanity.  It's much more fun to be a fan of a winning team. Just saying...

They boys gave me some hope tonight at least.

The first period began on a somewhat grim note.  The disjointedness they had been exhibiting over the past few games was beginning to show it's ugly head.  

MAF was in the net for the first period. He let in 2 goals. Beej was placed in the net for the remainder of the game.

Now, I'm not really blaming MAF, but something's got to be up with him.  If you can hear me MAF, I'd like to let you know that I believe in you, and don't ever give up!

Sido made me realize why losers call him "crysby".  It must be because he makes opposing fans cry .  Like he did 2:16 into the second period. Yeah! 2-1 isn't too hard to come back from.  

Oh, sike. 2-2 thanks to GEENNOO

Another Coyote scored. Booo

Then Letesticle assisted Kunitz

I don't think anything important happened during the third really. Whatevs. It was dinner time.

The score stayed 3-3

OVERTIME

I don't know what went on here. My feed was failing me. 

Apparently he Penguins are 2-1 in overtime this season while Phoenix is 0-3.

Johnson made some great saves

Holding penalty on some Coyotes asshole for holding TK. Yess!  3 on 4. Too bad nothing happened.

SHOOTOUT!

Johnson saves.

Crosby misses

Johnson saves

Letang misses

Johnson saves

LETESTU SCORES!!

Mark Letestu wins the award for sexiest goal tonight.

What a man.  

First home game of November on Wednesday
Hasta luego.

Politician + Religion =...Hockey?

It's time for another addition of....dun dun da dum dum daaaaaaa! Crossbreeds!

We all know Maxime Talbot for his majestic hockey playing, his fighting skill and of course his charismatic personality. But some of us wonder where all this came from. Well I've done some extensive research, and this is what I came up with.


For those of you who may not live in the state of Alaska, this is Joe Miller. He recently ran for U.S. Senate. He is probably going to loose, but is being a douche and wasting time and tax dollars to have his opponent's (Lisa Murkowski, who lost against him in the primary, and who is now a write in candidate) write in votes counted. (Which I would like to add he did not sign himself up as a write-in candidate so they shouldn't be counted but anywho). Although I don't agree with his politics, I couldn't help noticing on all those signs the tea party has posted all over the city, his facial similarities between him and Maxime. Hopefully the only genes shared here are the ridiculously fast growing facial hair and the same cheesy smile.


I believe it is possible Maxime inherited his charisma from this rabbi. Notice how this rabbi is exhibiting camera-hog-like behavior much like Maxime demonstrates in that car commercial he did (Chicka cheee!). I always did believe Talbot was part jewish, just look at him! His has Carnegie Deli written all over his face. I know what some of your are saying "But Hannah, he's french Canadian." Well for that I have an answer. There was this thing called the HOLOCAUST in which many Jews had to leave their homeland and go to a safer country. In the Tablot ancestors case that safer country just happened to be Canada.


And that concludes this times rendition of crossbreeds!

Game 13 Dallas wins 2-5. Fml

Boooooo

I h8 texas.  They are the second biggest state in America, and if you cut Alaska in half they'd be the third. Don't let any stupid ass texan tell you different.

Dupes's wife is currently giving birth, so he wasn't present. Staal was also absent (I'm sure you've heard of his broken hand). Supposedly he's out for six weeks, but we all know he'll gronk it out and be back in around two..

The Pens didn't realize that this was a hockey game apparently.  Perhaps they thought it was a boxing match?



Sido's 3rd career fight!
Good to see him dominate.
Letang and TK also dropped their gloves, but no one cares enough to put up a video I guess.
Either way the Pens basically won every fight.  They just couldn't deliver the goals

Comrie got his first would be goal in a Pens uniform.  Too bad the refs called it back cause he "hit" it in with his glove.  Bullshit.

TK with the first "real" goal.  Cookie with the second.

Beej was off for the first time of the year. Dunno what was up. He just looked uncomfortable... weird for him. Apparently he and Flower are unstoppable in practice.  Let's see this in games boys!

Fucking sick picture. Too bad the game wasn't as cool.  Why does Engelland look so happy?

Another hella cool photo.  Someone please buy this for me.

Mike Richards is a douche

It's true.

Game 9

This is is going to be a lame ass post because college is sucking the life out of me. There aren't even going to be pictures.   D:

Mr. Aaron Asham is in a line-up with Rupp and Adams. They're getting shit done I guess cause Adams just scored. Also, Mr. Cooke is proving why he's a man (not that he needs to), as he also scored.  Stacheboy of October scored.

About 14 minutes in Steve Downie and Ben LOVEJOY, both got 10:00 game misconduct penalties. I guess I might be bitter if my name were so happy and care-free sounding.

Hopefully my counterpart will provide a better recap.

I wish I didn't have a life, so I could watch this game...

Break Time

Penguins take on Tampa Bay Wednesday.  Anchorage man Nate Thompson plays for them. I love it when people from Alaska do things with their lives. It happens so infrequently.

While we have some time on our hands, I was browsing the internet when I came across some entertaining photos of our favorite Russian. Since he was our crossbreed last week I thought I'd share.

Unbeknownst to many hockey fans, Geno happens to be a celebrated painter.

And of course he can cook (although I thought they only ate cabbage in Russia...)

Though you may not be able to tell on the ice, Geno is indeed a fashionist(o?)

Hmm maybe scratch that last one. But I must say, I love the velvet blazer, just not with light wash denim.

 How lovely and wholesome

Classyy...

In other news:

-Eric Tangradi and Andrew Hutchinson have been reassigned to the WBS Penguins.  Hopefully for them they'll get some more ice time down there.

-Michalek and Asham are improving; we may see them on Wednesday.

-Letestu may move to wing when Steezy comes back. I'm looking forward to seeing what he does with that. It will probably be amazing.

Till Wednesday my friends

0-1 Blues. wtf

I don't enjoy low scoring games, but goddamn Beej! Way to be on fire. The man made about 756287345618 saves and 756287345617 were amazing.  Good to see Free Candy back on the ice. 


The word "rover" kept coming up. 
Letestu, Free Candy, Dupes and Adams all had HEEEYYY FAANNSS 


Connection of the Game: 

Davis Payne coached the Aces for 4 years. He and Head Coach Dan Bylsma (henceforth to be known as HCDB) Played in the ECHL together, and are secretly twins.  This is really exciting.


What the fuck did Sid do to Roman Polak?

He ran off the ice with their trainer like his ass was on fire, but there was no blood on the ice. Whatevs. They probably went to go have sex.

And that's the way it was... And that's the way the Cookie crumbles.

Sido still has never scored a goal against the Blues, but he did get me points for my Hair League, so all is forgiven.

I blame the goalies for lack of scoring, because the offense, on both sides, was pretty special.  Who was that Halak character anyway? I feel like he's ruined my life before.

oh yeah...

Tampa Bay next?  Jeez. Florida's being taken over by the Burgh. Steelers @ Miami tomorrow. And it's televised up here!

How the fuck is a genre of music a team?

Seriously, a contributing factor as to why I am a fan of the Penguins is because a Penguins is one BAMF of a mascot. Plus they're just so cute!

So I admittedly took a peak at the Blues's roster to see if there was anyone on the team I could easily make fun of. Here is what I discovered.

A man by he name of BJ Crombeen. No explanation needed. I do believe this gets added to the list of terrible names. Right up there with Douchon Mandick. Looks like someone was home-schooled.

Aaaand unfortunately the Penguins meet their achillies heel tonight, a man that played a huge contribution to the Penguins loss in the Stanley Cup Finals. Halak. Or as us jews like to say... Challah
Hopefully this time the Pens can devour him, like I do every Shabbos. GOOOOOO!!!!! Penguis!

Featuring.....

Crossbreeds! Every week (a.k.a. whenever I get to it) I will be supplying you with the true, never before seen, lineage of your favorite celebrities! This week our very own, Evgeni Malkin!

You may recognize these folks as Evgeni Malkin's adorable parents.

However, we are here to tell you that they are a hoax. Cute and Russian they may be, but let me introduce you to his real blood relation. Some of you may have already recognized Geno's beast-like characteristics are similar to that of a well known Hero. The Hulk. And by Hulk we mean this guy...

Not the blond/mustache/douch/fanny-pack one. Sirously, what grown man wears zebra print spandex with a multi-colored crotch purse? The 80's was 20 years ago... grow up.

In other news, it seems Malkin's other relation pays more attention to his sensitive side.
Looks like at least one of the Jonas brothers lied about his chastity ring! Russel Brand was right all along.

Gameday 8

J-Steezy, Asham and Free Candy still aren't in the line-up, Buuut word on the street is that MAF will start.  Brent's been doing a shweet job and all, but I wanna see some McFlurry action.

Who cares about the Predators? No one, that's who. Do they even have any fans?

__________________

That, my friends, was how babies are made...

Also, it was probably one of the best games of hockey I've seen in a while.  I recently discovered online streaming (I know, get with the program Claire) so I was able to watch some of the game.  Fleury made some admirable saves, aand some not so admirable ones, but it's all good. Man's gotta get his mojo back. 

Geno and Sid were out of control. Words can't describe their skating skillz. Letang scored in overtime winning it for us.  Beast points to him.

This photo = the game.

Next game is on Saturday at St. Louis. another somewhat irrelevant team to hockey (sorry Blues fans)

Peace out till then amigos.

Game 7. Senators

First off I'd like to say welcome back to The Burgh Gonch.  We miss you.  Also, is it just me, or are the Pens an extraordinarily classy team? 

Mark Letestu with two goals in the first period. Who wudda thunk? This child is blowing up, and I must say, I like it.  Goligoski, Letang and Dupuis also scored I guess.

This Is What We're All About

Oh and also this...

Together they create this

Check out that mad dog face.


If you are not a Pittsburgh Penguins fan I suggest you leave now. 
Also, If you have a problem with the fact that we are women, grow up. We definitely like hockey as much as men do.


Here, Hannah (aka Hannahisdacoolest) and Claire (aka ClaireFailed) will attempt to provide you with comprehensible (not making any promises) news about out favorite team, along with general entertainment.  


Currently we both reside in Alaska, and our nearest sport fix comes in the form of the Alaska Aces. 


Penguins won tonight. Against the Flyers.  Apparently it was a good game for pens fans. I wouldn't know. I guess we Eskimos don't deserve to watch hockey. Maybe the cable company thinks we have enough ice in our lives.